Let’s continue our chat from last week. Artists struggle as they try to balance their desire for relationship with the many real and perceived drawbacks of relationship. Some come to feel that they do best with a partner whom they see relatively rarely—and then wonder if that is really a completely satisfactory solution. For example, one artist explained:
“An artist’s desire to keep things interesting, alive, spontaneous, independent and free: that’s me. Those are exactly the reasons why I shy away from longer-term relationships or the idea of marriage. I’m not sure I’m capable of compromising any of those things, no matter how much I love the other person. I’m afraid of commitment because I know myself and know that I have a powerful need for change.
“Luckily my current partner, who is living half-way across the globe, feels exactly the same way. He is an artist who very much needs and loves his own space and independence. He, too, wants to know who he is and what his life would be like without the influence of a full-time partner. We love being together when we’re together and I feel lucky to have someone who is so like me and who understands my needs.”
“We’re really compatible and there are usually no hard feelings when it’s time for some ‘space.’ I’ve noticed, though, that we never seem to be creative at the same time. He seems to be less inspired to do his work when he is with me. I feel like he is losing out on more when he is with me, no matter how much I encourage and support him.
“Still, I have this recurring daydream where we create heaps of artwork together and help each other promote our work. We have shows together, we teach other people together. I just wonder if that’s a realistic scenario for us. I know my boyfriend loves to feel independent, as do I, but I would love one day to feel more like part of a team rather than on my own with everything with a boyfriend who most of the time is thousands of miles away.”
Here is my question for you this week. How much time do you actually need to spend with your partner
P.S. The “how to run your own writing workshop, class or retreat” class starts in August. That’s getting close now! The class is for writers and really for anyone who wants to run a workshop, class or retreat. To sign up: