Maybe you’ve come to realize that your addiction has gotten the better of you and you decide to enter into recovery via a 12-step program or in some other way. What then? Well, creating itself can prove a threat to recovery. The very act of creating is a voyage into the unknown (which provokes anxiety), a command to send your brain racing (so that it can productively obsess), and an opening to your deeper thoughts and feelings (with all the dangers associated with those depths). Recovery requires calmness and creating requires wildness: and the wildness of creating can endanger recovery. Therefore, some smart tactics for creating in early recovery are important to implement.
First, here are the two tips we’ve covered so far.
1. Let recovery comes first
As much as you may want to get back to creating, you have the job of getting your priorities right: your recovery comes before your creating. If it is a choice between attending an AA meeting or painting for another hour, the meeting is the wise choice. If it is a choice between starting the day with a mindfulness meditation that supports your recovery or starting right in on your sculpting, the mindfulness meditation comes first. This isn’t what your “creative nature” wants: it wants to create. But in early recovery your mantra should be, “recovery comes first.”
2. Choose projects wisely
Early recovery is not the time to overwhelm yourself or to add high anxiety to your life. If, for example, you have the choice between executing one painting that is less taxing and another that is more taxing, your creative nature may want to tackle the more ambitious project. But if you keep your recovery needs in clear focus you’ll opt for the less taxing project. Opting for the less ambitious project can feel disappointing but if you remind yourself that you have the opportunity to create a powerful body of work over time, but only if you maintain your recovery, that may help put in perspective why you are choosing a less exciting or ambitious project right now.
Now, here’s tip 3.
3. Monitor your energy, your mind, and your mood as you create
As you’re creating, you have the job of not getting too wound up, not thinking thoughts that jeopardize your recovery (like “This painting is so bad I’m going to need a good stiff drink when I’m done painting!”), and not propelling yourself into a dangerous mood, whether a manic mood or a despairing mood. While you create you will want to keep one eye on the tasks of recovery: if you are getting too bleak or too manic or too self-critical as you create, you must announce to yourself, “Careful! I’m threatening my recovery here!” Then you immediately do whatever you know to do when your recovery is threatened, whether that’s calling your sponsor, attending a 12-step meeting, listening to a recovery tape, etc.
More next week!
Eric: I relate to and appreciate your message here. I have known so many alcohol and other drug addicts in the creative fields and it will “drive you to drink”…
Let me be clear. Nothing drives you to drink but alcoholism. We have a disease. BUT certain things make it easier to give into your alcoholism that sits on your shoulder whispering in your ear for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. So, your efforts here are worthy. I am an artist with some success. Former gallery owner, etc. and having monthly wine and cheese for the new show opening reminded me of the need to a Put recovery first and, in alignment with your second one, to delegate delegate delegate so I did not weaken my strength. Where #3 comes in was from my sponsor who helped me remember the following. NEVER become too Thirsty, too Tired, too Tense, or too Tempted. The 4 T’s. I am working on a new blog for my art site titled “Are Artists Brains Different?” and I think it will help those still using, knowing that our brains ARE different and we ARE prone to abuse our bodies. We justify by saying we self-abuse “for our art.” BS. We are alkies or druggies forever. But only WE need to know that and know it well. We need to pace ourselves, watch ourselves, relax ourselves and, above all, call your goddamn sponsor 8-D PS: Oh, and work the steps and you will use again. [Talking to me here, too, Eric.]
I am in recovery with Cancer. I was doing fine for about 4 months after being free of Chemo treatment when My mind cleared and I felt the need to be creative again. I am working on a watercolor chicken. He is becoming my chicken with my colors. The first time I showed my niece, who is a professional artist, she asked, “Where is the chicken?” So I am working on that one. And I am thinking about my next painting will be in water based oil. And today I started a new pill form Chemo and I hope I can continue creating. Now it is my driving force to be alive, to be creative.