I wanted to share the following recently received email with you:

Hi Eric,

Today’s post really resonated with me. After being married for over 30 years, and having experienced a fabulous marriage, my husband stepped away from the marriage with another woman. Although I pleaded for reconciliation and therapy, he put so little effort into it that I had to let him go. For six months I was in a horrible funk, but my art began to flourish. I am a writer and also a painter (oil on linen canvas); my art was my salvation.

It has been three years since our divorce, after having been separated for three years prior, and looking back, I began to realize that he was holding back my creativity, and my creativity was holding back my marriage. He is a straight shooting attorney, very conservative in that he could not understand my creative needs and, in fact, made me feel guilty for the time I sat in front of my computer or stood in front of my easel. He was a loving father and a good husband, but he was not supportive of my need to explore or produce creatively.

Your writer in today’s excerpt has, in my opinion, the best of both worlds: a lover and a companion who understands her need for independence because he, too, needs the distance for his own creative endeavors. I envy her relationship, as I would love to find another creative who stimulates me intellectually but does not want to marry. So far, the closest thing I have to that is another creative whose intellect is off the charts, and he is gay. As I grow closer to retirement, I do wish for a more meaningful relationship with a man who understands my need to work alone and, more importantly, has his own creative pursuits.

It’s nice to know that I am not alone feeling the way I do about needing my space, yet longing for a companion who feels the same way I do. I cannot allow my work to be smothered. Even if that means remaining single for the rest of my life, I can accept that.



I look forward to your thoughts on artists’ intimate relationships. If you’d like to share, drop me an email at ericmaisel@hotmail.com

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